~J'adore la Musique~

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

\\*Talking to the Moon*//

Time to be alone again. In other words, time to emo.

Today was quite a meaningful day, with me hanging out with 2 of my 2 month old friends, watching a theatre production. I love the arts. I love theatre, I love drawing, I love music. But the main point of writing today is not about my musings. I just happened to be listening to my fully charged iPod while travelling and my thumb rolled over the song list to highlight the song Talking To The Moon by Bruno Mars. I love this song. Made me think and link over his lyrics to my own life.

Talking to the moon, tryin' to get to you
In hopes you're on the other side, talking to me too
Oh, am I a fool who sits alone talking to the moon
Yeah, am I a fool? I think I am......

Teared On|11:45 AM|

Thursday, March 24, 2011

\\*Pained*//

Good thing this blog's deserted. I can now just write about anything that's been tugging at my heart. Yes, it's not private and I don't mind anyone reading this, but then, will anyone read this?

That's it, I made a decision. A major life decision that requires me to forgo some of the things I hold really dearly in my life. It has always been what I wanted all along, to go to a polytechnic. I yearn freedom and the power to make my own decisions. The opportunity there to learn something out of academics also pulled me over. I identified something deep within me that's keeping me powered and that is my INTERNAL DRIVE/WILL/POWER. It's been keeping me going for the past few years of my life, in studies and in life and I'm sure that it'll keep me going for the rest of my life.

Now, it's time to talk about some pretty typical issues teenagers face in their lives. (Well, at least I'm facing it now...) Making this decision to transfer means no looking back. I should move on and live life happily, but then, being me, I'm worried for some things. I know I'm getting what I ask for already, but I'm reluctant to lose certain things I already possess. Call me over-possessive...

I don't want to lose the friendship forged and strengthened over the past 2 months. I'm letting a lot of people go. We could have been closer friends if I went on. Yeah, I know with Facebook around, that seems quite impossible, but how many people would keep in touch with someone who's not sharing the same problems and issues with them? Therefore, I've given up on some of my close friends. I love them and can't let them go, but we'll have very few common topics to talk about already. I'm willing to invest time to keep the friendships going, but I'm afraid, they do not have the time to do so. They WILL forge strong new friendships along the way as the road they're travelling on is so tough, and I will be just a former good friend soon enough.

Of course, I will be making new friends and probably will find good friends in my next 3 years in polytechnic, but I am never one who's willing to let things go. The times in secondary school were the best times of my life and I'm never going to forget that even if I die. The closest friendships, the sufferings, the heartbreaks, the joy of breaking rules, nothing can beat that experience.

However, when I think of it, it's my life and I'm living for myself, not for my loved ones, not for my friends. I will make my own decisions and decide what's best for me, despite having to forgo some of the closest things to my heart. It pains me a lot to make this decision and I have put a lot of thought into this, but I'm sorry, I'll have live my life, so please don't ever forget me.

Teared On|10:05 AM|